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‘Not Cool At All’ Category

  1. The Midnight Sun

    July 20, 2011 by Michelle O'Hagan

    Chicago Is Hot Today!

    Every few summers, Chicago experiences a heatwave that includes a stretch of more than a few days in which the high temps reach 90°F or above. For the last few days, it’s felt like a sauna around here with oppressive heat and humidity the likes of which I haven’t seen since … well, since I left Arkansas.

    Not to “one-up” anyone, but this weather is completely normal in Little Rock, Arkansas. And by normal, I mean an entire summer–yes, about three straight months–of high temps in the mid- to upper-90s with high humidity.

    It IS hot in Chicago right now: the air conditioner in my 85-year-old house has been running nonstop for the last few days, yet the inside temp never gets below 74°F. And people around here are acting like we’re all in that Twilight Zone episode: The Midnight Sun.

    I chuckle when I hear/read comments like, “This must be what Hell is like.” Actually, this is exactly like what living in the South is like. I can’t get too upset over the outside temp of 97°F, especially when the temp inside the building in which I work seems to be about 65°F (as I write this, there is a space heater humming away at my feet).

    And really: by mid-September, I’ll be wearing fleece and hoodies. By mid-October, the down jacket will come out of hiding and won’t be put away until May 2012.

    And then it will be Chicago’s turn to chuckle at the folks in Arkansas when 1″ of precipitation causes a run on milk and bread at the local Kroger. :-)

     


  2. I Don’t Own A Business, And Why Would I Ever Want To?

    October 20, 2010 by Michelle O'Hagan

    The elections are less than two weeks away, and I’m actively trying to avoid the pernicious political ads that dominate every single television station. They’re not even entertaining this year, just ridiculous.

    It has taken me 44 years to get to this point, but I’m really all about kicking everyone out this year, no matter what side they’re on. The people who “serve” in Congress really have no idea–no idea–what is going on in people’s lives. I don’t care how or why they grew so clueless, I just want them gone.

    My good friend @mhellyar just posted a link to 1099 Tax Rule May Bring Big Pain To Small Business on Facebook. Apparently, a new IRS rule (which was piggybacked on to a health care bill–sneaky) requires all businesses, freelancers or contractors to file 1099 forms for goods as well as services, if those goods cost more than $600 annually (the current threshold).

    I read the article–twice–and if I understand correctly, the IRS now will require “vendors” (such as a local restaurant or office supply store) to pay federal income taxes on “goods” sold to another business or freelancer (like a business that treats its employees to pizza once a week).

    That is ridiculous enough, but here’s the really crappy part: The onus is on the business or freelancer (the one buying the pizzas or the paper towels) to keep track of all the goods (office supplies, pizza, gasoline, etc.) it purchases from individual vendors so it (the business or freelancer) can issue 1099 forms to all these vendors, so the vendors can then pay income taxes on the goods they sold to the business. WTF? Could that be any more confusing? And why force a business to keep track of all this stuff, so that yet another business can pay taxes on it? Who thought this up? And who voted for it?

    This is the most asinine thing I’ve read this week, and and I’ve read a lot of silly stuff this week. This is just one example of why everyone who “works” for us in Congress should get the boot. Every. Single. One. <<she said, as she crossed that party line>>


  3. Bye-Bye, Miss Pam :-(

    August 30, 2010 by Michelle O'Hagan

    One of the boys’ teachers died Sunday. Miss Pam was 49 years old and was taking medication for a heart condition. Reports are that Miss Pam’s daughter found her, unresponsive, in her home.

    Miss Pam was so, so good to–and for–my boys.

    Ruairi was in her class when he was 2.5 – 3.5 years old. He always asked if she could come home with him. He asked her out to dinner often. He snuggled with her. During our parent-teacher meeting, Miss Pam told me Ruairi was one of the smartest children she’d ever had (she was a public school teacher for many years) and that we should strive to keep him busy and challenged, and not let him get bored in school.

    Liam has been in Miss Pam’s class for almost a year. And even though he’s more of a wrestler than a snuggler, and he’s never asked Miss Pam out to dinner, he loves her and respects her no-nonsense, take-no-guff attitude. On weekends, when the boys are not in school, I’ll overhear them “playing Kidwatch” in their room. Liam is “Miss Pam” and Ruairi is “Miss Jackie” or “Miss Coco” and the two of them conduct class as if they are the teachers and all the stuffed animals are the students.

    And Miss Pam, like all of the teachers at Kidwatch, was aware of, attentive to, and accommodating of Liam’s inherited skin condition, epidermolysis bullosa (EB) simplex. She made sure he didn’t walk too far with blistered feet, and took his socks off during nap-time.

    Recently, I told a co-worker–whose husband is an elementary school music teacher–that a good teacher really makes a difference in a kid’s life. And it’s true. My kids spend a lot more time with their teachers, on a daily basis, than they do with Patrick or with me. It is so important for young children to have great role models and good, decent people whom they trust and love.

    Miss Pam had a big laugh and a big attitude. She was a person that I think I’d enjoy knowing even if she wasn’t my kids’ teacher. As a parent of young children, I want to know that teachers know what to do in every situation because frankly sometimes I don’t. I want them to really know my kids and report the truth. I want them to give me suggestions and direction. And Miss Pam just seemed to know all of that stuff.

    When Patrick called me at work to tell me the news this morning, I wondered aloud why good people have to die early and all the menaces-to-society seem to stick around forever. I guess I’ll never know. We were very lucky to have Miss Pam at Kidwatch for the last five years. And we will miss her very much. I feel like I should have known her better.


  4. Satan Responds

    January 21, 2010 by Michelle O'Hagan

    Thanks to my colleague, Andy Schultz, who emailed this to me today. I love it.

    Dear Pat Robertson,

    I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action.

    But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher.

    The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamor, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle.

    Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it — I’m just saying: Not how I roll.

    You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad.

    Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

    Best, Satan


  5. Cook County (non-) Elected Officials

    January 17, 2009 by Michelle O'Hagan

    Pure class. http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/1383355,CST-NWS-bird17.article